"Dieting" Warning: should only be attempted by people with will power!

So, I am now a woman of a certain age and my body just will not let me get away with what it once would, and it has been a painful realization this past year that I am getting old! I have drastically gained weight twice within the last two years, and both times I went to the doctor completely convinced that something was terribly wrong, and he would say something like, "Well, how old are you now?" I guess he sees a lot of 33 year old women with 3 kids, who don't understand why they keep continuing to gain weight despite the fact that they had their last baby 3 years ago! So, basically the diagnosis is this, "you're not going to be as thin as you once were ever again." Of course, the doctors don't say it like that, but they think it. I can tell.

So, I'm attempting my first diet ever in my life. It's not that I've always been thin, in fact, my weight has fluctuated a lot over the years. But, my weight has always seemed to do kind of it's own thing. Whenever I felt fatter than usual, I would swear off my cherry coke habit and try to exercise more. Then, sometimes I would lose weight with no effort on my part. So, I don't feel like I've ever been in control of my weight.

Is that normal? Haven't you always wondered how women deal with their weight? How many women really watch what they eat and exercise regularly? How many eat what they want and exercise religiously? How many go on and off actual diets? How many kind of don't pay attention until they can't fit in their pants (like me!)? I don't like the idea of having to think about it all the time.

My doctor recommended a dieting tool for me www.mynetdiary.com to track my calories. It has been really eye-opening! But, not only does it take discipline to stay away from those high calorie foods, it takes discipline to report it in the diary. I actually would recommend it, or the calorie counting app on a mobile device. It just made me so much more conscious about my food choices.

I have decided that diets are for people with good will power. Which is a total paradox, because if you have great will power then you probably eat well all along and wouldn't need to diet. So lame! I do really great for about a week, then I'm kind of bored of it and tired of having to think so carefully about what to eat. I don't even like the fact that I have to feed my kids 3 times a day! Trying to figure out what to eat is a pain, let alone trying to figure out something healthy and low in calories!

I'm having the hardest time trying to keep my hand out of the bag of fruit loops! I can walk away from chocolate cake, no problem. But those dang fruit loops! I have successfully given up cherry coke for over a month. My goal is stay off it for good! So, I guess I do have a little will power. But, since I'm exerting so much of it to stay away from my cherry coke (my favorite thing in the world) there just isn't enough will power left in me to keep me away from the fruit loops!

I'm not trying to be shallow talking about diet. But, I have gained wisdom from it all. My perspective is changing. Okay, I still am dieting so I can fit in my pants, but honestly I have had kind of an eye-opening experience realizing how unconscious I have been about the care I take of my body. I have been taking my body for granted, and I have acted like as long as it was thin, I could do whatever I want. So disrespectful!

Diets are a pain! But, consciousness and care of body is a blessing! I guess if a diet is what it took to get me to pay attention, then it's not so evil. A little torturous, but not evil!

The "I don't like exercise" workout

I didn't make an actual New Year's resolution to exercise more, I just decided I was tired of feeling like slug and it was time to get moving. My weight has been fluctuating a lot inexplicably the last 2 years, and suddenly the last 2 or 3 months I have put on about 10lbs. What's up with that?! I know a little extra is normal for the holidays, but 10lbs--come on!! My habits never really change that much, so I'm beginning to wonder if it's just one of those signs that I'm getting old. I guess when you're 33 your body can suddenly decide to add on an extra 10lbs for no good reason. Boo! I wish I could get in a regular habit of exercise, for my overall health and well-being, for my mental health and well-being, and to help maintain a decent weight. But, the truth is, the desire to be healthy is never as powerful as the desire to actually fit in my pants. Do you know what I mean? Does anyone really exercise to be healthy? Don't most of us exercise to either lose weight or to prevent gaining weight? We are so shallow! ;) The truth is, though, that I am so ticked about the extra poundage and I'm scared that the number on the scale will continue to slowly, but surely work its way up each week that I finally got my butt going again and started exercising.

I have been going to Zumba classes once a week or so and I love that. But, my sister also taught me the coolest workout that I've been doing often and I'm hoping it will soon start yielding results. I wanted to share it for anyone who is like me, who can't stand the thought of running on the treadmill anymore! If you believe that marathons are for masochists then I might have the workout for you!

TABATA PROTOCOLS! It's interval training in 30 second intervals. I only do 2 circuits of 4 minutes each with a 1 minute rest in between. 9 minutes! I don't like exercise, but it is so much less daunting when I know that I only have to do it for 9 minutes!

Here's how it works: I usually do a warm-up. I like to do a couple songs on "Just Dance 3" for Wii. That feels a lot more fun to me. Then, I start my tabata protocol. It goes 20 seconds of high intensity activity followed by 10 seconds of rest. Continued for 4 minutes. Here's an example of one of my intervals:

20 seconds running in place/ 10 seconds rest
20 seconds punching/ 10 seconds rest
20 seconds mountain climber/ 10 seconds rest
20 seconds ski jumps/10 seconds rest
20 seconds squat jumps/10 seconds rest
20 seconds grapevine/10 seconds rest
20 seconds bicycle (not an actual bicycle--the bicycle exercise on your back)/10 seconds rest
20 seconds push-up jacks/ 10 seconds rest

1 minute rest

Then repeat interval or change exercises. The key is going extremely high intensity for the 20 seconds!

I want to work my way up to doing three 4-minute intervals, but I'm not there yet. My sister assured me that if you feel a little nauseated when you're done, then you've done it right!

In 9 minutes I break a full sweat! Also, usually by the time I've convinced myself to do a quick 9 minute workout, by the time it's over I'm already motivated so I throw in some ab exercises and some yoga stretches at the end.

I'm LOVING it! It's so easy. It's like exercise in easy, bite-size pieces! I've even got my kids doing it with me, since their attention spans aren't much longer than 9 minutes anyway. They like it. They like to take turns choosing the next exercise.

I will let you know if it actually helps and I start seeing a difference! What are your tricks for making exercise a little more palatable? How long does it take of being in the habit until you actually miss exercise on the days you don't do it? (I don't think I've ever gotten to that point.) Does anyone have any good tricks specifically for the waistline? I'm going to keep on keepin' on! I can do 9 minutes! You can do 9 minutes!

A little less blah, blah, blah

I talked with my sister about my ideas for this blog and she helped me restructure. I will not be continually philosophizing, I am going to break it down into smaller ideas and tips and share some of the things I'm trying to do in my own life in hopes that it is helpful. I will basically try to be less long-winded! I have decided to break my posts into 3 categories--body/mind/spirit. Now, keep in mind that these all are actually pieces of a whole--our soul. So, they all kind of work together and apply to each category. My stuff for beauty and style probably will fall a little more into the body category. But, today I just wanted to give you a little something for your MIND. I found this quote and I LOVE it! My therapist sister will really love it too, I'm sure. So, think on this. Think how this affects you body, mind, and spirit.


"If you look underneath your depression, you’ll find anger. Look under your anger, and you’ll find sadness. And under sadness is the root of it all, what’s really masquerading all the while—fear."

Bodymindspirit

My dreams have been reawakened and renewed! I recently finished writing a book, yes a book. This blog came about from of one of the themes in my book--beauty. So finishing my book reminded me that I don't have to wait for a book to be published to share my message and opinions with the world--I have a blog! The book may never be published, but I do have ideas and passions that I feel I need to share. Even if it is only ever for my own catharsis. I initially intended this blog to focus mostly on beauty and style from an LDS woman's perspective. But, recently I have realized that beauty is only a tiny piece of me and the message I want to share. What I really want to talk about is what it really means to me to be a woman. Beauty is about the whole soul--body, spirit, and mind.

I have partly come to expand my definition of what I want my blog to be because I just don't care as much about style as I did a year ago. Sad, but true. I wanted to become some kind of style expert, a style blogger with an LDS niche, but now I'm thinking that's not my message. I do still feel sort of an obsession with beauty. But, I am slightly disenchanted with style right now. (In other words, I feel like being a bit of a hag for reasons related to weight gain, lack of time, and general exhaustion.) So, be patient with me as I figure out what my message really is and what I'm trying to say!

Another thing that made me consider a different approach came from a class I am currently taking. It is an exercise science class called "BodyMindSpirit" and I took it because it just sounded interesting. For one of my assignments I had to read a book called, "Molecules of Emotion" by Candace Pert, Ph.D. To be honest, I hated reading the book. It was way too heavy on the hard sciences--biology, chemistry, chemical processes of the body, etc--but the conclusions were fascinating. Pert is the one who comes up with the concept of "bodymindspirit" meaning those parts are so inseparably connected that they are not separate entities at all, but are the whole intelligence that makes up who we are--our consciousness, our existence, our soul.

We as Latter-day Saints have always believed that the soul of man consists of body and spirit--but did you ever consider that your body is more closely connected with your spirit than you might've thought. Say it this way--my body is my spirit; my spirit is my mind; my mind is my body. Thus=bodymindspirit. Kind of amazing if you think about all the implications of that! It kind of takes the Word of Wisdom to another level too.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to think about beauty and womanhood from this bodymindspirit approach. The flow of information is multi-directional between body/mind/and spirit. You really can access your spirit through your mind and body. You really can heal, help, and strengthen your body through mind and spirit.

Now I feel like I can discuss anything in the bodymindspirit realm and it still applies to my concept of "ruby beauty." The cool thing is that pretty much EVERYTHING applies to the bodymindspirit realm!

Mormon Girl's Quick Fashion Fix

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was too fat for my jeans. Well, let me share with all you temple-endowed sisters how to "lose" 2 lbs fast--drisilque calf length garment bottoms. Any fashion expert will tell you that your underwear can really make a difference in your overall look. Well, for us LDS garment-wearing gals, our "underwear" is for spiritual purposes but practically speaking, they aren't doing our bodies any favors. Usually garments just add a lot of bulk. For any pants--especially jeans and leggings, I recommend wearing the capri length garments in drisilque. It will seriously make you feel 2lbs lighter, because your pants and leggings will slide right on and button more easily. Make sure to get them in the right size, they need to fit snugly on your calves so they stay in place. Also, petite size garments are shorter through the crotch, so that can help with some of the extra bulk and prevent your garments hanging out above the top of your pants. That's my little Mormon girl tip, hope it helps.

Not just a Mom

Have you ever seen the SNL "Mom Jeans" skit? The best (or rather, most painful) line in it is when it says that wearing Mom jeans tells the world "I'm not a woman anymore, I'm a MOM!" I think most of us Moms can relate. But, most of us don't really just want to let ourselves go and wear stained sweats everyday, and we definitely don't want to wear mom jeans! We want to still be attractive, at least sometimes. And occasionally we want to be hot! I believe it is possible to be modest, appropriate, and also hot! Just because we're Mormon doesn't mean we have to wear denim jumpers or look like the FLDS polygamists. In fact, I wish LDS sister missionaries wouldn't wear jumpers and ugly cloddy shoes, they really need to represent us LDS women better. We are attractive, even stylish, and hopefully emanating with beauty from the inside out.

So, to show off my whole theory about hotness and modesty not being mutually exclusive, I styled 2 beautiful women. Then, my little sister Janey took some great pictures of them, so that they too could see that they're not just Moms, they are still WOMEN!

Jessica (my big sister):

Alicia (my brother-in-law's little sister):

See, I told you! They're hot, right? We've gotta show the rest of the world (especially young women) that there is a right way to be hot!

Bumps in the Road (and in a few other places.)

My purpose in this blog is to help every woman recognize her own beauty. It is to encourage all of us to accept ourselves for who and what we are and begin to realize that true beauty comes from seeing ourselves as God sees us and aligning ourselves with His definition of beauty. But, I have to admit that today I don't feel so beautiful. Today (and most days in the past few weeks) have been akin to a bad hair day, but for my body. I guess you could call them "Feeling Fat" Days.

I'm not exactly sure why, but I have steadily been putting on weight over the last few months. My diet hasn't changed and I'm actually pretty active (though maybe not as diligent about my cardio exercise as I should be.) In fact, I gave up my beloved Coke addiction a few weeks ago in attempt to curb the weight gain and I have actually put on 2lbs since then. Sometimes I get scared and think I'm one of those "I didn't know I was pregnant" people. At least then there would be an explanation for my weight gain. I really don't know what this weight gain is all about, but it is definitely challenging my resolve to feel beautiful no matter what!

I feel like this:

That's not an actual picture of me (I don't have the guts to post a real picture of my mid-section, but that's a pretty good representation.) I have put on 8lbs in about 3 months. Some people think I'm a little silly for caring about that weight gain, and some people think that I'm still thin enough that I can't complain. But, regardless of what size you are, regardless of the number on the scale, nothing makes you feel uglier than not being able to fit in your own pants!

This is my bump in the road on my quest for true beauty--feeling okay even when I have a closet full of pants that are too tight, or that can't even be buttoned at all. If I was styling someone else I would encourage them to buy a few pants in the larger size. It is so much easier to feel cute and comfortable in clothes that fit well. But, the other part of me says that I need to feel the discomfort of those too-tight jeans so that it is a constant reminder for me to watch what I eat, exercise, and work on losing the weight so I can fit back into the clothes I already have.

I want to practice what I preach and make the most of what I'm working with. I don't want to obsess about weight loss or feel badly about myself. But, I think it's normal that sometimes we all get a little down about the way we look. Some days (or even weeks) we just feel FAT. The key, I guess, is not staying here for long. So, I guess I shouldn't dwell on it anymore.

I'm unable to be objective at this point. So, I ask anyone who reads this, how do I deal with this weight gain? Should I go get a cute pair of jeans in a larger size or do I let the jeans be a little too tight in order to stay motivated to lose the weight?